... have you felt so alone that you can only cry softly in your bed?

I need a place to go dump my feelings into....


Many a times, I will tell my girlfriends when a guy is not worth the trouble. But now, I find myself in that very same situation where even though I know that he isn't worth the trouble, I still am holding on to that thin frail string that holds us together.

I..know what is the next right thing to do. I know all the things that people will tell me to do if they knew of the situation... but yet, I can't bring myself to do it. Why? 'Coz I'm stupid... too comfortable the way I am...'coz.. I still really love him?

A year and a half ago.. I would never have thought that I would have fallen for a guy.. so very different from I am. But yet, I decided to give it a try and not only did I try but I made changes to myself to make things work. Or.. as a dear friend puts it, I grew.

I was ... really really happy. Nothing ever made me as happy as he did. But through this very same person, he has hurt me more than anything in the world. He has done something that no girlfriend should ever forgive because if they do forgive him, they will always be constantly worried that he would do it again. And he has already done it. Twice.

I knew somewhere deep in my heart that it could happen to me but yet I let myself open up to him......



We talked about the things he did behind my back yesterday.......





I don't know what to think or do anymore. I want to just escape into another dimension away from my miserable life now. There's nothing left for me to look forward to anymore. Only reason why I'm ok with having to go to work and put up with all that shit and pretentious people is because I know at the end of the day, I will go back into his arms where he will comfort me. So... what now?

How are things suppose to be ok now? But I really don't want him to leave me.





God....... please help me. Just take me away from this horrible place.

  Aight, a quick and shot update. There's gonna be another gig at Paul's Place. I haven't gotten the full detail yet, but here's what I got from Stonebay's bassist, Roy (ThanksRoy! ^^).

Ching ching chang:- A thousand words (Savage Garden)
Mood:- Sien..
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  Just thought that I write out a quick update from the multimedia lab. Damn right cold in here now.... *brr*..

  Newayz, on the last day of Chinese New Year, Chap Goh Mei, I rushed over to the Bangsar house to meet up with the rest of my family. When I got there, I was told to write down my wish on a urber huge lantern. (For those who may not know what this is all about, for Hokkiens, it's a tradition for them to write down their wishes on a huge lantern and set it off flying into the air. Up to last year, it was when the goverment decided to ban this tradition as the lanterns disrupt the flight of the airplanes.) So... I dunno how or where, my aunts and uncles manage to get 2 of those lanterns. At about 8 something, we finally set the lanterns off. The first one went up... over the house and down to the street..... right when a car was coming down the street. ^^; (The driver was prolly thinking what on earth is that lantern doing floating around in the middle of the street) The lantern continue floating up the street and a passed a security guard who stared curiously at it. As it floated nearer to the house opposite ours, we feared that it may set something on fire. So, my uncle called out to the security guard to lift it away from the house. The guard was rather blur considering he just continuously stared at the lantern. Luckily, the lantern started to lift up before actually touching the house walls. As the second that my dad, sis, cousin and I set off went up successfully.. ^____^ Went alllllllll the way up , till it went pass the clouds. It was G O R G E O U S!! Seriously.... if those who don't care/mind about breaking the law, go buy one of those lanterns which cost about RM 60 each. I think the pricing is ok, considering that you can write TONS of wishes on it due to it's size and if your wishes come true, the more worth it, it is.

  Later about 9 ish, we went to the japanese restuarant at Bangsar Village called "Mizu" (which means water for those who knows nuts bout the jap language). The name prolly explains the interior of the restaurant, they had a see through path way as in you walk in, so you can see the water and pebbles underneath you.. (they should hv included koi fishes.. XP). And in the room where we ate in, there were also water flowing down the stone walls.

  The food there was.. yummmmmmyyy! :3 Had yu san (Japanese yue sang - thin slices of very fresh salmon with sliced vegetables), unagi rolls(very niceee!! @_@ the unagi has a slight crunch to it with a slice of avacado and some ebiko on top... yuuuumm.. ), beef rolls, chicken and cheese rolls, squids, cold somen, black sesame and macha ice cream.. =^_^=

Bg music: Micheal (Franz)

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  The new Hilton in Sentral is GORGEOUS!!! and the service there was excellent! See for yourself.. =^^=

           
     An aquarium deco at the lobby         Very nice lookin flower deco unlike
                                                                            those dead/dying plants in my coll.. XP


           
Hm.. designish thingys                                                                  More flowers!      

           
           Ceiling at the area outside the                            This is right next to my room. I think 
            chinese restaurant.                                                the  bg is kinda ..tacky :S

           
 *random flower deco* I realllly like                  Odd looking sculpture. A man carrying
  this shot.. ^_^                                                      a square world..      
 
  When I got to the room where we're suppose to eat in, I simply fell in love with the fact that it's this really nice looking stand alone room. Hehe.. :P Hmm, I didn't get a good shot of it.. but I guess this will do.

           
           Red.. red room..                                                       Yet another nice flower deco.



Duckies!....


  Check the .. teapot out! Urber long snout. There was 2 types of tea that was served then. One was the normal chinese tea and the other one that was poured out from that teapot was a mixture of all teas. There was a rather strong taste and smell of ginseng in it.. ugh... Newayz, they only served that mixed up tea till the yee sang came.

           
     That waiter made it look so easy...                 Looky! I've got a gigantic pair of chopsticks!!!!  

           
                  lalala.....                                                          Da ULTIMATE yee sang!! Hahaha.. !!


  Yummy green tea desert. TI's unique 'coz the liquid surrounding the ice cream is actually gin seng. Not exactly my cup of tea.. but it taste fine if you eat the ice cream and the gin seng together.

YUMMYYY~ :3